Marketing Best Practices Are Bullsh*t: A Love Poem

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Marketing Best Practices are Bullsh*t: A Love Poem

Beholdโ€”the types of conversations that I wish that I could have with marketers if I possessed a magic marketing strategy wand:

You: “Hey, Jen! Whatโ€™s the best practice for the number of touches in a re-engagement campaign?”
*Waving wand*
Me: “4.2 touches, across 3 channels.”

You: “Cool! How much ROI can I expect if I make my welcome campaign more personalized? Is there a benchmark?”
*Waving wand*
Me: “A 24.7% increase.”

You: “Alright! And what keywords can I put in a subject line to get the most opens? Is there a study?”
*Waving wand*
Me: “Snakes. Volcano. And spaghetti. Definitely use spaghetti.”

You: “Awesome! Thanks! That was easy!”

Wait! Iโ€™m just kidding. The truth is, I donโ€™t have a magic marketing strategy wand, and there are no easy answers. Sorry.

But in the spirit of Valentineโ€™s Day, dear marketers, I offer this poem, which answers all of your questions on marketing best practicesโ€”and more. Because I love you.

Iโ€™m sorry to say,
Iโ€™m sad to report,
Thereโ€™s no benchmark or best practice that exists of that sort.

Every audience is different,
Every business, unique,
Thatโ€™s why I canโ€™t give you the answers you seek.

Thereโ€™s no sure-fire plan,
No secret strategy.
If you want success, then take it from meโ€ฆ

You gotta try things out,
Just go with your gut.
See what works, and what doesnโ€™t, you cut.

There are only two rules
For marketing strategy:
Just keep it legal and focus on relevancy.

I know that disappoints, mi amors, but themโ€™s the facts. I get it, though. You want to know what works. Whatโ€™s safe. What will guarantee success. Even how much success to anticipate.

And itโ€™s a lot easier when someone tells you what to do, or what everyone else is doing. No one wants to be responsible for failure, but there is rarely a cut-and-dry answer. And sometimes failure is part of the process. Just as itโ€™s part of life.

We know that relevance is at the heart of any successful campaign. But the detailsโ€”they’re up to you, marketers. Sometimes your best judgment is all you have to draw from. Donโ€™t be afraid to go with your gut, observe the results, and iterate and optimize from there. Use your historical data to help drive insights and decisions.

And most of all, donโ€™t feel compelled to do as others do. Fearlessly blaze a brave new trail, friends. Thatโ€™s when the real magic happens.

Looking for some more inspiration? Check out my session,ย โ€œBest Practices Are Bullsh*t,โ€ at Iterable’s growth marketing conference Activate, this April in San Francisco.